1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,001
[theme music playing]

2
00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:33,495
[dramatic music plays]

3
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[co-pilot] Craig, pull up.

4
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[Craig] Oh, sorry.

5
00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:38,440
[tires screeching]

6
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[tires screech]

7
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Uh, welcome to Las Vegas

8
00:00:48,014 --> 00:00:50,024
where the local time
is two something and...

9
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,280
Whatever, we're here.

10
00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:52,648
Hey, Craig,
this isn't our gate.

11
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:53,586
Yeah. Well, I gotta go.

12
00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:55,090
I'm meeting some people.

13
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-Ooh.
-Oh.

14
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Uh...

15
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[people exclaiming]

16
00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:00,725
We know you have
a lot of choices when flying

17
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and, uh... yeah.

18
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:06,434
-[effort grunt]
-Captain.

19
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Excuse me. Pardon me.

20
00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:14,807
In a hurry.

21
00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:15,711
Sorry.

22
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[softly] Where are they?

23
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Where is this...

24
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Oh, thank God.

25
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Thanks for meeting me.
I'm Craig Stevens.

26
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We're the Mike Tyson
Mystery Team.

27
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Do you need help
with your baggage?

28
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,126
No. I... I got it.

29
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So, what's your mystery?
You said it was urgent.

30
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Yes, it's extremely urgent.

31
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Look, obviously,
I travel a lot,

32
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and I'm away from my wife,

33
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and it's been hard
on our marriage.

34
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Ah, so you...stewardesses?

35
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:45,971
What? No!

36
00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:47,136
I love my wife.

37
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Oh, that's nice.

38
00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:50,381
You titty...stewardesses or...

39
00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:51,610
No!

40
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,605
Recently I started
sending, uh...

41
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sexy texts to my wife,

42
00:01:55,415 --> 00:01:56,575
you know,
when I get to the hotel

43
00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:58,646
or wherever I am,
to, you know...

44
00:01:58,685 --> 00:01:59,645
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

45
00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:01,316
Yeah, yeah. Sexting.

46
00:02:01,354 --> 00:02:03,054
Dick pics.

47
00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:04,489
"This is what
you're missing out on, honey."
We get it.

48
00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:06,294
Yeah. So last night
I was in bed

49
00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:08,556
masturbating
and filming myself...

50
00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:10,095
As one does.

51
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,930
And I thought
I sent the video to my wife,

52
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,295
whose name is Nancy,

53
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,703
but instead
I accidentally
sent it to "Nana."

54
00:02:15,735 --> 00:02:17,765
Nancy's mother.
My mother-in-law.

55
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:18,504
Uh-oh.

56
00:02:18,538 --> 00:02:20,868
Did... she reply?

57
00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:21,767
Yes.

58
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:24,276
What'd she say?

59
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:26,581
[hesitantly] Here.
I can't look at it again.
You read it.

60
00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:28,113
Okay. Here, here.

61
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,348
I'll read it.

62
00:02:29,382 --> 00:02:30,822
Let me just, uh...
you know what,

63
00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:33,520
let me just scroll back
and see what you sent.

64
00:02:33,553 --> 00:02:35,053
Oh, oh. Well, here's the video.

65
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Oh, oops. I'm sorry.

66
00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:38,523
I clicked it,
and, um, you know what,

67
00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:40,358
I may as well
just watch to see,

68
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you know,
there might be "clues"

69
00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,996
to help with our
"investigation"

70
00:02:45,031 --> 00:02:47,301
of the... "mystery" and...

71
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,074
Mmm. Okay.

72
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:50,642
This looks like
it's gonna be a...

73
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:51,970
hard mystery.

74
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,765
Mmm-hmm. A big...

75
00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:54,937
hard...

76
00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:56,305
thick mystery.

77
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Gimme that.

78
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[scoffs] Oh, my God.

79
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Nana wrote,
"Craig, I love your video.

80
00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:04,583
"I love your penis.

81
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:07,418
"I want to ride
your friendly skies."

82
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:09,291
Then she sent a video.

83
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Gimme that.

84
00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:12,187
Oh. Well, ha-ha, look at this.

85
00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:15,055
Man, she's beating that thing
like it owes her money.

86
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:17,429
So, what do I do?

87
00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:18,364
I can't tell Nancy.

88
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She'd be devastated.

89
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And I don't want to embarrass

90
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:21,503
my mother-in-law.

91
00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:22,574
Here.

92
00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:25,442
[keypad clacking]

93
00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:26,572
That should buy us some time

94
00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:28,106
to come up with a plan.

95
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:29,471
"I like what I see.

96
00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:31,109
"Stay tuned
for more videos."

97
00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:33,314
Why did you write that?

98
00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:34,976
What? I thought you liked her.

99
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:36,075
Sorry, man,

100
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:37,876
I haven't really been
paying attention.

101
00:03:37,917 --> 00:03:40,247
I think I'm jet-lagged
from that long flight.

102
00:03:40,287 --> 00:03:41,717
Dad, we drove here.

103
00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:43,655
-[cell phone chimes]
-Oh, no. It's Nana again.

104
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"I'm dripping
with anticipation."

105
00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:48,589
Ooh! What the hell
am I gonna do?

106
00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:49,888
Okay, you know what?

107
00:03:49,929 --> 00:03:51,929
Let's go somewhere
where I can drink.

108
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:54,795
My bad, I mean,
where we can think.

109
00:03:54,834 --> 00:03:56,674
You know, like a bar.

110
00:03:57,470 --> 00:03:59,000
Here's your shot of tequila.

111
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:09,575
Whoo. Mmm.

112
00:04:09,616 --> 00:04:10,516
Mercy!

113
00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:11,620
Whoo! Okay.

114
00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:12,551
Here's what you do.

115
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:13,815
You come clean.

116
00:04:13,853 --> 00:04:15,623
You tell Nana
that it was an accident,

117
00:04:15,655 --> 00:04:16,985
that the video
wasn't meant for her,

118
00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:18,663
"It's over,
let's put it behind us."

119
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:20,462
Excuse me? Excuse me.

120
00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:22,233
Can I get one more?
It's the "Blanco."

121
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,362
I don't think
I can make that phone call.

122
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:26,497
Well, then just text her.

123
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:29,233
[dramatic music playing]

124
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,065
Wait, what am I writing?

125
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,437
[scoffs] Oh, my God.

126
00:04:35,475 --> 00:04:37,735
Here. Okay, look.
"This was a mistake.

127
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:40,477
"I'm not sexually attracted
to you. It's over."

128
00:04:40,513 --> 00:04:41,583
[phone chimes]

129
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:42,714
There, see.

130
00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:44,549
Easy peasy,
lemon squeezy.

131
00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:45,954
Ooh, you know what?

132
00:04:45,985 --> 00:04:48,315
I'll have a
lemon drop
martini instead.

133
00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:50,315
No, not instead,
in addition.

134
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:51,417
And some wings.

135
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:52,618
Oh, you know what?
...it.

136
00:04:52,659 --> 00:04:53,859
And some fries too.

137
00:04:53,893 --> 00:04:55,263
You guys will have
some fries, right?

138
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,225
[phone chimes]

139
00:04:56,262 --> 00:04:57,362
Huh? What did Nana say?

140
00:04:57,397 --> 00:04:58,757
Oh...

141
00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:01,968
You texted my wife!
You sent it to Nancy!

142
00:05:02,001 --> 00:05:03,101
What? No.

143
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,296
I wrote N-A-N... Oh.

144
00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:06,338
I see what happened.

145
00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:07,913
Yeah, autocorrect's a bitch.

146
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,076
Here is the lemon drop martini,

147
00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:13,352
and the tequila,

148
00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:14,810
here're your wings,

149
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:17,418
and here are your fries.

150
00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:18,750
Anything else?

151
00:05:18,785 --> 00:05:20,115
[whispering] Some onion rings.

152
00:05:23,089 --> 00:05:23,989
[Nancy] What?

153
00:05:24,023 --> 00:05:24,893
[sobbing]

154
00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:26,685
[exclaims in dismay]

155
00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:27,987
No.

156
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,332
Craig, why?

157
00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:33,204
-[dialing]
-[sobbing]

158
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,270
Mom, it's Nancy.

159
00:05:36,302 --> 00:05:37,842
Craig is leaving me!

160
00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:41,271
He says he's not
attracted to me anymore.

161
00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:43,067
That's terrible, dear.

162
00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:45,539
Why don't we talk later
when you're more calm.

163
00:05:45,578 --> 00:05:47,748
Yes, of course
I'll tell your father.

164
00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:50,615
Who was that?

165
00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:52,480
It doesn't matter.
I'm leaving you, Murray.

166
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:53,949
What?

167
00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,647
I'm in love with someone
and he's in love with me.

168
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,258
We send each other
erotic videos

169
00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:59,390
we make of ourselves
masturbating.

170
00:05:59,426 --> 00:06:01,486
Ooh! My heart!

171
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:02,958
[gasping]

172
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:03,826
[moans]

173
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,703
[effort grunt]

174
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:07,926
[groans]

175
00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:09,067
[breathing heavily]

176
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:10,536
[groans]

177
00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:12,300
[exhales]

178
00:06:13,606 --> 00:06:15,106
[slow instrumental music plays]

179
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:18,737
[Nancy sobbing]

180
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:20,978
[cell phone vibrates]

181
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:24,015
[sobbing continues]

182
00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:28,650
Nancy's not picking up.

183
00:06:28,688 --> 00:06:30,318
You could text her.

184
00:06:30,356 --> 00:06:32,386
I find texting
is the clearest way
to communicate.

185
00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:33,885
No more texting.

186
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:35,587
Well, you should
at least text Nana

187
00:06:35,628 --> 00:06:36,828
and tell her it was a mistake,

188
00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:38,103
and the video was for Nancy.

189
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:41,069
-Fine. [sighs]
-[keypad clicking]

190
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:44,935
"The video was for Nancy."

191
00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:51,935
[sighs wearily]
What have I done?

192
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:53,608
This is your fault, Craig,

193
00:06:53,646 --> 00:06:54,706
not mine.

194
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:57,519
[gun cocking]

195
00:06:57,550 --> 00:06:59,820
And now you're gonna pay.

196
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,723
I gotta go home
and talk to Nancy.

197
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,124
We'll go with you.

198
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:04,256
[Craig] Why?

199
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:05,620
Hmm. I don't know.

200
00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:07,088
Um... So...

201
00:07:07,126 --> 00:07:08,926
should we all
put our cards in?

202
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:11,402
I mean...
I didn't eat all the fries...

203
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:14,565
I bet Craig's bored with me.

204
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,371
I have to try harder.

205
00:07:16,402 --> 00:07:18,002
I have to be sexier.

206
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:19,765
[moans]

207
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:21,867
Hmm.

208
00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:23,378
[romantic music plays]

209
00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:25,180
Okay.

210
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,182
Let's see if you'll be

211
00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:32,476
sexually attracted
to me now, Craig.

212
00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,089
[cell phone camera clicking]

213
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:34,990
Ohhh!

214
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,532
[cell phone beeps]

215
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,330
It's a text from Nancy.

216
00:07:42,362 --> 00:07:43,462
"Sorry I didn't pick up

217
00:07:43,496 --> 00:07:44,656
"but hopefully these pics

218
00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:46,427
"are worth
a thousand words."

219
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:52,943
Oh! Thank God.

220
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:54,672
[sighs]
Oh, it's all gonna be okay.

221
00:07:54,707 --> 00:07:56,367
Oh, you wanna
slow down, partner.

222
00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:59,509
You know, I don't think
we got to see all the pictures.

223
00:07:59,546 --> 00:08:00,606
What?

224
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,177
You know, just to make sure

225
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:03,845
there aren't any additional
angles to this mystery,

226
00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:06,353
no additional dimensions to it.

227
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:07,446
You see, yeah.

228
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,917
Now click out of that
next pic, huh?

229
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:12,263
Mmm-hmm, okay.

230
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:13,292
Next pic.

231
00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:15,987
Oh, yeah!

232
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,699
Ooh! Now, okay, next pic now.

233
00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:20,231
Is this really necessary?

234
00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:21,166
-No.
-No.

235
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,900
Ooh, think of me
like a doctor.

236
00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:26,974
Doctor of mysteries.

237
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:29,666
Yeah, you can go
to the next one now. Come on.

238
00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:31,339
She's totally nude.

239
00:08:31,377 --> 00:08:32,537
Believe me, young man,

240
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:35,609
these photos are of no
prurient interest to me.

241
00:08:35,648 --> 00:08:36,678
Next.

242
00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:38,216
Oh, yeah.

243
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:39,481
Oh, yeah.

244
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,289
[excitedly] Oh! Oh, I mean...

245
00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:45,391
I mean, "Oh," as in this one
does look a little mysterious.

246
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:46,785
May I?

247
00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:49,026
[menacing music playing]

248
00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:53,825
[gun cocking]

249
00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:56,768
[cell phone camera clicking]

250
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,095
Hello, Craig.

251
00:09:00,139 --> 00:09:02,409
How about
you take a flight...

252
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:03,442
straight to hell.

253
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:06,476
[gunshots]

254
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:08,847
[thuds]

255
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,521
[car engine whirring]

256
00:09:11,584 --> 00:09:12,484
Who's that?

257
00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:14,388
That's Nancy's mother.

258
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:15,690
Ooh, Nana! Now we know

259
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,892
what she looks like
when she's not masturbating.

260
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:20,291
[Craig] Nana?

261
00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:21,356
Craig?

262
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,594
But...

263
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:23,859
[dramatic music playing]

264
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:24,996
[Nana] My baby.

265
00:09:25,031 --> 00:09:26,761
[sobbing] Oh, no.

266
00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:28,529
What have I done?

267
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,168
[screams]

268
00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:33,939
-No!
-[gunshot]

269
00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:35,513
-Oh!
-[thuds]

270
00:09:35,541 --> 00:09:36,581
Oh!

271
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:39,537
Well, we know
you have lots of choices

272
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:40,979
when choosing a mystery team,

273
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:42,654
and we're glad
that you chose us.

274
00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:45,752
The local time here
in Las Vegas is four something.

275
00:09:45,785 --> 00:09:48,145
I don't know
if it's a.m. or p.m.

276
00:09:48,187 --> 00:09:50,317
Man, this jet lag is no joke.

277
00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:53,390
[theme music playing]

278
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:02,229
[woman over intercom]
<i>Slip the life vest</i>
<i>over your head,</i>

279
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:03,968
<i>pass the straps</i>
<i>around your waist</i>

280
00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:06,073
<i>and adjust at the front.</i>

281
00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:09,135
<i>To inflate the vest,</i>
<i>pull firmly on the cord,</i>

282
00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:10,975
<i>only when leaving the aircraft.</i>

283
00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:13,680
<i>There are several</i>
<i>emergency exits</i>
<i>on this aircraft.</i>

284
00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:16,653
<i>Please take a few moments now</i>
<i>to locate your nearest exit.</i>

285
00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:19,683
<i>In some cases,</i>
<i>your nearest exit</i>
<i>may be behind you.</i>

286
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:22,519
<i>At this time</i>
<i>your portable</i>
<i>electronic devices</i>

287
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:24,685
<i>must be set</i>
<i>to airplane mode.</i>

288
00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:27,794
Hey, turn your...phone off...

289
00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:28,887
[softly] Thank you.

290
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:41,109
[knocking at door]

291
00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:43,612
[knocking at door]

292
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:49,581
[knocking at door]

293
00:10:53,686 --> 00:10:54,746
Murray.

294
00:10:54,787 --> 00:10:56,187
Our plan worked.

295
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:57,992
We can finally be together.

296
00:10:58,024 --> 00:10:59,694
[kissing]

297
00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:01,126
Now come inside

298
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:02,690
so we can film
each other
masturbating

299
00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:06,129
and then we can send
the videos to each other.

300
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:11,041
[instrumental music plays]